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As the bearer of a trade certificate in French Polishing (among other things), it is with much mirth I gaze upon the latest snide captioning from Unhappy Hipsters.

Another Sunday morning spent whisking small batches of artisanal wood stains so they might continue darkening the floor, one six-inch-square at a time.

(Photo: Misha Gravenor; Dwell)

This is being typed sitting at my kitchen table, which might seem a small thing to you, but after 5 days of round and round in circles with my new ISP and the Netgear people, being tethered to a modem by an ethernet cable had lost its allure well and truly. Especially as the person who had TransACT install the cable put the plug in the main bedroom. Not the most convenient place to work; fine for re-runs of QI at 3am when unable to sleep, but not terrbily handy for Being Productive.

But for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, my "fiddling" with something to do with the Netgear protocols via has worked. Of course I can't ever turn either the modem or wireless router off for fear of losing whatever it is that I have done, but this is a small price to pay when the other option is a trailing 10 metre ethernet cable.

And whilst in techy mode, dear Abode, please do not include stripped down bits of McAfee security programs in your Adobe Reader updates. As a thinking human being I am about as likely to want to use any McAfee product as I am to write a character reference for Mr Gaddafi. Avast and AVG work just fine thanks.


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An Anniversary

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Raw linseed oil is not a furniture or joinery finish

Repeat after me.....

Raw linseed oil is not a furniture or joinery finish
Raw linseed oil is not a furniture or joinery finish
Raw linseed oil is not a furniture or joinery finish

Raw linseed oil, if it dries at all, dries very very slowly over many months. You might be lucky if you apply it and then rub it all off, but most of time it will linger on the surface, gradually becoming stickier and stickier.

Nor is it temperature or UV resistant. In areas under windows or near stovetops, it will break down or blister. On furniture, it will darken over time til it's almost black, particularly on areas where the piece might be handled such as the back of chairs.

And it will be sticky. And extremely difficult to remove later on.

Oil finishes either have to rely on the oil being modified during its manufacture with the addition of driers or being able to polymerise themselves. Polymerisation means that within hopefully less than 4-6 weeks, the oil's solvent has evaporated, it's ox…